Sooo, it's Christmas Eve and I'm alone again. I'm trying my hardest to tell myself that's okay, but it's not.
For the most part I hate holidays, but not because I'm a Scrooge...it's because I'm tired of being alone on them. I mean, sure, I have my family, and kiddies, let me tell you that's the most important thing in the whole bloody world...but there are different kinds of love, and I'm severely lacking in one type: romantic.
I have friends. I could spend my time with them, yes, but that's not the same as what I want, and I always feel like I'm intruding. I guess what I'm telling you is that I'm tired of settling for less than what I want, and what I want is to not be alone in everything I do anymore. The problem with that is I have a lot of trouble trusting people—with getting close to people. I've never had much reason to trust anyone, you see. I've grown up with a father who's never said "I love you" to myself, or to my mother, and—speaking of mothers—I have a mother who will tell you "I love you" as soon as she'll call you an asshole and replace "love" with "hate." Doesn't make for much of a reason to want to date, or trust anyone, now does it?
Whenever I try to trust somebody, I always end up hitting a certain wall that keeps me from going to deeper levels of intimacy, and we're not talking about sex here, people. Intimacy means other things as well—like "emotional" intimacy. Get your minds out of the gutters. Anyway, I clam up...I physically can't talk, and my fight or flight response kicks in. I blame this on my family atmosphere. It's something that I can get over if I work really hard, but it takes a lot of time, and a lot of patience on the part of the person trying to get over my hang up, but I try.
All I want is love. All I want is somebody to pull under the mistletoe with, and kiss in the first few seconds of the new year. Until I get that, no material possession will ever mean anything to me again.
With Much Love, and a Little Hope for the New Year,
A Little Lonely Wisdom
"Every little thing needs love, honey." ~My Mother
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Karma and Common Sense
I'm not a perfect person—most certainly not, but I realized something today that I think is worth sharing with you all.
The reason I started this post out by saying I'm not perfect is because I'm about to tell you not to judge anyone. Now, I'll admit that I'm kind of a judgmental person, but that has to do with the life I've lead, and the extremely low amount of patience I have for stupidity and assholes...anyway, I realized today that there's a simple concept in this world that very few people understand or even acknowledge at all. What is it, you ask?
The simple concept is this: "Don't judge others, and don't treat others like shit unless you yourself want to be judged and treated horribly." This concept is karma spelled out for you. Don't expect a good life unless you make the lives of others good as well.
This has been,
~A Little Lonely Wisdom
"Even on the highest throne in the world, we are still sitting on our ass." ~Michel de Montaigne
The reason I started this post out by saying I'm not perfect is because I'm about to tell you not to judge anyone. Now, I'll admit that I'm kind of a judgmental person, but that has to do with the life I've lead, and the extremely low amount of patience I have for stupidity and assholes...anyway, I realized today that there's a simple concept in this world that very few people understand or even acknowledge at all. What is it, you ask?
The simple concept is this: "Don't judge others, and don't treat others like shit unless you yourself want to be judged and treated horribly." This concept is karma spelled out for you. Don't expect a good life unless you make the lives of others good as well.
This has been,
~A Little Lonely Wisdom
"Even on the highest throne in the world, we are still sitting on our ass." ~Michel de Montaigne
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Afraid of Changing? Don't Be.
We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivate us to change. Remember, though, that the thing that causes you to live or change doesn't always have to be a bad thing. In fact, it never should be. If we were all perfect beings, we would be able to see ourselves truly, and know automatically when we should do things—without having to make mistakes, and before it is too late to repair the broken lives we have made.
Unfortunately, none of us is perfect, all of us have lives whose windows are slightly cracked, and we will all make mistakes that could have been avoided. Thus, we must learn from them, instead of living in them, or pretending that they don't exist.
Make good choices—move on before the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Also, remember that where you are now, is exactly where you wanted to be in the past. Think about it, it's true. Against all beliefs of fate, we do create our futures. If you sit there in your room playing games all day, or living in fake worlds that exist only in books, and you wonder why you're lonely when you venture into the real world, then you lack logic. No one made you play MMORPGs every night, and no one made you hide, and no one will ever be able to find you living in your little hole—no one you want in your life for very long, anyway.
You create your life, and you are the principal controller of your life. Of course everyone will effect you, and please never underestimate the power of another person's presence in your daily life. After all, a word can change the world if spoken at the right—or wrong—time, and sentences spoken endlessly, every day, will most certainly destroy you if they are the wrong ones. Moral of the story? Do what it takes to overcome your past, go out with your friends (I promise they miss you, and if you have none, they can't find you in your basement), and don't hold onto things that hurt you, no matter what they are.
Sometimes change does have to hurt...but you can make it hurt less often by being aware of your choices and actions.
This Has Been,
~A Little Lonely Wisdom
"I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling." ~Frida Kahlo
Unfortunately, none of us is perfect, all of us have lives whose windows are slightly cracked, and we will all make mistakes that could have been avoided. Thus, we must learn from them, instead of living in them, or pretending that they don't exist.
Make good choices—move on before the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Also, remember that where you are now, is exactly where you wanted to be in the past. Think about it, it's true. Against all beliefs of fate, we do create our futures. If you sit there in your room playing games all day, or living in fake worlds that exist only in books, and you wonder why you're lonely when you venture into the real world, then you lack logic. No one made you play MMORPGs every night, and no one made you hide, and no one will ever be able to find you living in your little hole—no one you want in your life for very long, anyway.
You create your life, and you are the principal controller of your life. Of course everyone will effect you, and please never underestimate the power of another person's presence in your daily life. After all, a word can change the world if spoken at the right—or wrong—time, and sentences spoken endlessly, every day, will most certainly destroy you if they are the wrong ones. Moral of the story? Do what it takes to overcome your past, go out with your friends (I promise they miss you, and if you have none, they can't find you in your basement), and don't hold onto things that hurt you, no matter what they are.
Sometimes change does have to hurt...but you can make it hurt less often by being aware of your choices and actions.
This Has Been,
~A Little Lonely Wisdom
"I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling." ~Frida Kahlo
Friday, December 2, 2011
Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall, Tell Me Who I Forgot Was Fairest of All
So, I've decided that I'm going to start doing a little something different with this blog. I will keep telling you all about my life—my strifes, my wisdoms, my failures, and my happy days, and I will do so in detail, but in between those posts you will now most likely find short snippets of my wisdom. Paragraphs, sentences...things that are completely original, and from myself, or things that inspired me during the day, and for which I will give proper credit.
I may also go back and talk about a certain thing I've posted in detail if I feel so inclined. I hope you all like this little change. You'll definitely be seeing more posts from me!
Alright, on to the first little snippet~
***
If you've forgotten who you are, I recommend that you look at yourself squarely in a mirror. Inspect yourself—truly admire your own soul, your own face, your own body, and your own beautiful inner self love and strength. If you do this I promise that you will see that you have never lost yourself—you've always been there waiting to look back at yourself through your own eyes in a mirror.
Remember. You never abandon yourself—you only think you do.
Love,
A Little Lonely Wisdom
"With love, you should go ahead and take the risk of getting hurt...because love is an amazing feeling." ~Britney Spears (Sometimes even the worst role models say something wise. Think about that.)
I may also go back and talk about a certain thing I've posted in detail if I feel so inclined. I hope you all like this little change. You'll definitely be seeing more posts from me!
Alright, on to the first little snippet~
***
If you've forgotten who you are, I recommend that you look at yourself squarely in a mirror. Inspect yourself—truly admire your own soul, your own face, your own body, and your own beautiful inner self love and strength. If you do this I promise that you will see that you have never lost yourself—you've always been there waiting to look back at yourself through your own eyes in a mirror.
Remember. You never abandon yourself—you only think you do.
Love,
A Little Lonely Wisdom
"With love, you should go ahead and take the risk of getting hurt...because love is an amazing feeling." ~Britney Spears (Sometimes even the worst role models say something wise. Think about that.)
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