A Little Lonely Wisdom

I am writing this for nobody to see. I don't expect anybody to care about what I write, but for the longest time I've wanted to speak--to have a voice. One that will impact the world around me and give hope to those that lost it a long time ago. I believe in a lot of things that I shouldn't believe in: love. Respect. Soul mates, rainbows, and silver linings. I like to believe that hard work, persistence, and perseverance will get you anything you want in the world. It's all about triumphing over those things you fear the most, no matter how many times they spear you through like lightning to metal. It's about finding a way to pick yourself up despite having no one there to do it for you--even though it's to be said that having a loved one to pick you up would be better.

I'm just a lonely soul...like you. Like everybody. All of us two cent writers wanting to change the world are the same. We hope for worlds like those in our stories, where we have the choice of a happy ending even though we might opt for a tragedy in hopes of better reviews and a seemingly more original plot.

I've lost more than I care to admit, fought for less than I should have, and smiled just to keep my face looking young when all I wanted to do was cry. I'm an odd little girl. I don't feel like a woman yet, despite being a college student who's just facing the world as boldly as she can on the days she feels strong enough to. No. I'm not a woman. Though I'm modeled as one above my friends.

I'm just a little lonely person with a little lonely wisdom who grew up too fast, and grew up too slow.

I'm an old soul. I've always known that. When I was a little girl, littler than I am now, I always thought the people around me didn't know how to live, and I'll tell you I was right. All they could do was hate each other: steal each other's Barbies, spit spitballs across the room, and yell at their best friends. All I wanted to do was grow up. All I ever wanted to do was grow up and love somebody. Love somebody for everything they were. Don't ask me why that's what I wanted when I was five, but that's it. That's what it was, and that's what it is.

I was lonely then, as a child, and I'm lonely now...except now I've loved, and now I know why I wanted to love and be loved. I understand love, at least a little bit, now.

This blog will be filled with some of my wisdoms. My little lonely wisdoms for all of you to share in, presuming that there ever will be anybody. It will also contain some of my life stories, in fact: they'll probably be my inspirations. Let's get some things straight (and you may not like me for this): I don't care what you think about me. This is my blog, and these are my thoughts. I will tell you what I think. I won't ever necessarily write on certain days and I may disappear for months at a time, but chances are that I'll come back. I'm too addicted to talking about myself and my thoughts >insert laugh here<. I like to teach and hear stories similar to my own, or ones that are about life, the heart, mind, and soul. I like to tell people about my mistakes, and the observations I make about the world. Here, I'll tell you my little bits of lonely wisdom that come out of my long nights of thinking and loneliness. I will write what I want to write about. That will always contain something that amazed me during the day, or in my past, and a little bit of wisdom I've found somewhere deep in my heart. You'll never know who I am, but you'll always know what I'm thinking.

I reserve the right to say what I mean, and mean what I say. And yes. That was a little bit of a Dr. Seuss quote for you. You'll find out more about myself and this blog soon enough, but never enough to find me or know who I truly am. Rejoice in the mystery and let yourself be free. All you need, and all you really want is: A Little Lonely Wisdom.